Awareness, Meditation, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Who Am I?

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”

~ Mark Twain

Along with nearly 290,000 FaceBook followers, I participated in the 21-Day Meditation Experience, Desire and Destiny with Deepak and Oprah. My hope was that the journey would expand my knowledge, my awareness, provide me with the tools I needed with understanding my true self, and by the end I thought I would have clarity around the life I am meant to live…my destiny, and my life purpose. I wanted to learn, and understand how to connect with my soul, to cherish, and realize my desires in order for me to live my life to the fullest, and to make a difference in the lives I touched.

Go figure, Day 1, I was already stuck! As instructed, I closed my eyes, and I was directed to ask myself the question, “Who am I?” While I sat silently, with my eyes closed, breathing deeply, and trying to feel my soul’s deepest thoughts of who I am, I couldn’t find the words to answer this question…I struggled. I attempted to allow the quiet energy to rise inside of me, and I tried to figure out my intentions, and thoughts but my body, and mind were resistant. Fear took over, or I should say the ego, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know who I am or more importantly, if I really even knew, who I am. I went through the 21 days never answering this question, and yesterday, I returned to listen to Day 1 all over again with the hopes of clarity.

As I went through my day, the question resonated in my head, and I thought about what I learned. I reread what I wrote down over, and over again…”Once we begin to understand who we are, we open the doors to infinite and abundant possibilities. Each of us has been put here for a purpose, and we each have a unique destiny. The only way that our destiny unfolds with complete clarity is when we are still enough to hear the whisper of our hearts desires. When we allow that quiet energy to rise within, it shapes our intentions, thoughts, and actions. Being aware, and in the present moment, and being open to walking the path, with complete confidence, and belief that with living each day with inspired passion, and abundance would connect you to your souls purpose.” Wow, this was huge for me but could it be that I am not present or connected to my soul to know who I am or still enough to hear my hearts whisper?

With every person I spoke with, they could hear the angst in my voice. I questioned my beliefs, and as the fear took over, and I began to second guess myself…my life choices, and my decisions (past and present). All I could think, “I just went through 21 days of a spiritual learning, and did I not absorb any of it?” Some of the dearest people in my life, listened, and attempted to talk me through it. The emotions were on overload, I was babbling, and at the end of the day, one dear friend said, “Deborah, always remember everyone puts their panties on the same way, one leg at a time. No one is better than you, and you just need to believe in yourself. Walk with the style, and grace that you have, along with the confidence that you exude. I don’t care if you cry your eyes out in the privacy of your own home while eating a pint of ice cream but when you go out that door, be the confident you that you know you are.” The intelligent side of my brain got it but the emotional side was still in the battle, and I couldn’t let go…I just hugged my pillow, prayed, and went to sleep.

When I awoke, I read, I listened more, and this is what I learned…when we have limited beliefs than it’s those life experiences we are given. Understanding that the path to wisdom, and knowledge is always open, and changing from I can’t to I can is critical in this life. Gaining the strength to release the past, awakening to the present, and taking action for a future we deserve is our absolute right. The more we understand how life works, and how thoughts work, the better our lives will be. Learning to change our thinking, will change our lives. Being aware, and paying attention, and knowing that what we say, is what we attract, and completely understanding each word we speak creates the life we live is enormous. Knowing how to stop this one is key, and conscious awareness is the only thing that will keep it out of our life. Anything you complain about repeatedly is something you have an unconscious intention to produce. Huge! We all have a tendency to talk about the things we don’t want versus the things we do want. We are all on a life journey, and if we live fairly unconsciously, life is just happening, and not being lived. When we finally get that we have so much more control over our life, and the experience of life…there is a no place more joyous.

Everyday is a new beginning, and with the help of another dear friend, I learned who I am…I am love. I know I give love freely. I don’t know how to live my life without love. Love exudes from me unconditionally, and love feels good for my soul. I know in fulfilling my dreams, attending to myself, and others from a place of generosity, and love, it is only then that I will have started my journey of listening to my deepest truths…my hearts whisper. I know I have to use every ounce of my being to continue to live with an abundant amount of consciousness, and to follow the calling of my heart, to create my destiny, and life purpose. As I travel this path of life, stillness will be important for me, along with capturing those moments in life with complete awareness, curiosity, and absolute unconditional love. On that path, I know I will find, and live my life purpose, my life desires, and my life destiny, along with peace, and joy because I am love.

lh1